RAP-MANIA

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By now we hope you’ve slept off the hangover from your Wrestlemania XXVI viewing party. (For those that missed it, John Cena is the new WWE champion.) Since rappers and fans are always comparing hip-hop to wrestlers, we thought we’d commemorate the PPV event with a little comparative analysis: if wrestlers were rappers, who would they be? Peep our match-ups after the jump…

RIC FLAIR = JAY-Z

RIC FLAIR SAYS: “To be the man, you gotta beat the man.”
JAY-Z SAYS: “It’s no Biggie, huh, I’m the king now.”

Their reigns on the top are as tall as Andre the Giant. Flair was world champion 16 times and Jay has 11 number-one albums. Every time fans say they’re too old to hold their top spots, Jay and Ric show that they still got it. Flair had the biggest retirement in wrestling history in 2008, only to return to the ring a year later. Hov!

HULK HOGAN = 50 CENT

HOGAN SAYS: “What you gonna do when Hulkamania runs wild on you?”
50 CENT SAYS: “This rap shit is all fucked up, what we gonna do now? How we gonna eat man, 50 back in town!”

Hogan and Curtis may both go down as the biggest stars ever, with Herculean numbers to back up their reps. They may not be the most technically sound in the ring or on the mic, but charisma and monstrous marketing machines go a long way. Plus, they’re both freakin’ jacked.

JOHN CENA = LIL WAYNE

JOHN CENA SAYS: “You can’t see me!”
LIL WAYNE SAYS: “OK, you’re a goon but what’s a goon to a goblin?”

The new champ is one of the most divisive characters in the WWE. He comes out to a mix of boos and cheers every Monday night. You may think he sucks, but your little brother swears by him. And occasionally he’ll put together a match that makes even the biggest skeptic give props under his breath. And right now, like him or not, he’s wearing the crown. Sound familiar?

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2 Responses to “RAP-MANIA”

  1. swaggtalk100 Says:

    lol…..funny stuff…..but oh so true!

    very nice post!

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